School is so stressful right now. I can't seem to do anything right in my courses. I know it's grade 11 but.. I am supposed to be able to at least do moderately well. If other's can do it, why can't I? Why am I falling behind? I feel like the one think that I was so sure of, during my entire life is slipping from my fingers. I try and try constantly to find the bright side but it's so hard right now. All I can think about is everything bad that happened. I'm such a pessimistic person that it's even affected the other aspects of my life. And that makes me so so so sad. I can't believe that I put you through all that crap. I love you. I know you understand completely and you forgive me for everything but... I feel like I owe you so much. You're always there for me... No matter what. You're always there to support me even if I'm being completely unreasonable. Sometimes, I feel like I don't even deserve you. You love me so unconditionally, so completely, so simply, and so perfectly. I want to do the same for you, but sometimes, I feel like all I do is make you sad. And that hurts me so much. I'm supposed to make you happy. That's the only thing I want to do. As long as you're happy, I could be a housewife who paints highways for a living and I wouldn't care. But the past few days... it seems my frustrations and emotions took over that priority. All I could was lash out to anyone near me. I'm really sorry. You are my world. You have to know that. You have to know that you are my one love. I would never do anything on purpose to ever hurt you. When you're sad, I feel like I've done the biggest wrong in the world. That's why, as soon as I come to realize my mistake, I apologize right away. And even after I apologize, I don't feel as if that's enough. I feel regretful and remorseful. I feel as if I deserve to wallow in misery because I put you through that pain. You never deserved any of it. You only deserve to be happy. Always. And I promise, that from now on, I will be the one that will make you happy. I will learn to control my emotions. I will learn to keep my frustration from lashing out on you. I love you. I really do. I would never want to hurt you. That's why I'm trying. I'm trying my best to learn how to love you perfectly, just like how you love me. 사랑해 ♥